Stress At Home and Stress With Life

     Stress comes in many forms: either good or bad. The only time the body, soul and mind aren't stressed is when it's dead. So, I just wanted to make an update among what's going on with my life. 
     A while back in September, I've had a breast cancer scare. I had various tests and until October, I was able to find that it was fatty tissue that formed due to my chest compression. My parents hadn't noticed anything odd with that because I normally wear sports bras and they assumed what I wore wasn't a bind but a sports bra. Nor have I told them but that's just as it is especially when I'm scared to tell them exactly how I felt about myself without them putting blame on someone, particularly my partner, for influencing me to change for her when I've thought about this for years but never fully understood how to express it. 
     I've had issues at home. Good enough to leave me in a chipper mood throughout the day and bad enough to leave me utterly dysphoric. Earlier last week, my mum was joking around with my brother and didn't even consider me as a person during the time because I was doing my own thing. My brother ended up talking about me and although I didn't remember what he said, my mum followed her response with "She's a good son..." then corrected herself by saying "Samaritan". Although she didn't realize that she said "son" I was utterly happy throughout the day. It disappointed me that I couldn't express it more in an animated fashion but I had to contain it so she didn't assume anything of the "worst". Just yesterday, my mum ended up calling me "bud" instead of "Ladylow" so she could get my attention. I don't think she meant much by it but that also made my day.

      Today, we had some issues. The bad kind but it wasn't anything that would suggest any harm to me or her. But then again, I can't get un-butthurt about things that already have happened. We had an argument regarding the way I presented myself. 
(That's how I've been dressing myself lately.)
     My mum's brought up the fact that I've been dressing grungy. I don't have all the money in the world to make myself look dashing everyday so... yeah, I work with what I have and I at least try to be the cleanest as I possibly could. I like the way I dress anyways, I see nothing wrong with it. It's simple.
She also brought up the fact that I've been getting fat. The only reason why I've been gaining a few pounds was because I want the belly to chest ratio to look about the same size. I really don't want my chest to protrude passed my belly. I do believe my chest is the source of most of my dysphoria nowadays. She couldn't and wouldn't understand my own internal struggle but that's my own problems. Not hers. 

I think it's one of those days that's full of life lessons. I shouldn't let simple things like this get to me like that. I shouldn't let my life get involved with everyone else. I should keep to myself unless it's pried from me. It will help me live a more peaceful and independent life. Not a hermit sort of life but a life where it's gender neutral, simple and free from the bad sort of stress. Aim high, am I right?